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Offense: the Roadblock to an Effective Business

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements that they have in their own minds.”

Brittany C., The One Rule That's Made All My Relationships Happier. Tweet

The one practice that has helped me to do my business well is simply the fact that I don’t allow myself to get offended.

I used to get offended when people didn’t understand me, or questioned and challenged my intentions for doing certain things. I would be upset when people tried to ‘take’ from me, got needy, or couldn’t agree with my point of view.

What helps me to let go of offense these days are these revelations:

  • That people are shaped by very different life experiences and backgrounds. It is not fair for me to expect them to see things in my way, or to agree with me even. We didn’t live the same life! Good for us if we can agree, but if they don’t – that’s totally okay.
  • I am not ‘less’ of a person just because someone does not agree or follow my way. I am uniquely, wonderfully made; and I am a whole person, in full control of myself. If someone wants something from me, I can give it, and not regret it, even if he/she takes it for granted or takes advantage of me. Why? Simply because someone else’s actions towards me does not subtract from who I am.

It is easier said than done, and granted, it has taken me a long time to get here. (Even to this day, I still allow myself to slip into it if I’m not careful.) But I have come a long way from being petty and taking every little thing personally – and I am a much happier, free-er individual and businessperson for it.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

This write-up was first shared on our monthly Community Edit email.